How To Tell Children About School Shootings And What You Should Never Say

2024 Author: Steven Freeman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 08:15

So far in 2018 there have been 18 school shootings (and we are only in February!). Here is the advice of a child psychologist on how to tell children about these tragic events.

Last night, as images of terrified and traumatized students fleeing their school filled - once again - television screens, parents were faced with an alarmingly common question of late: How do I tell my son that he is safe? Go to school when school shootings happen over and over again, with no end in sight?

The figures are disturbing. Yesterday, 17 students and teachers lost their lives when a former student showed up in the hallways of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL, with an AR-15 rifle. This happens five years after the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre and 19 after Columbine. But we don't have to go that far to see the terror: According to the non-profit organization EveryTown for Gun Safety, there have been 290 school shootings since 2013, including 18 so far this year (and remember, we are only in February).

The constant bombardment of bad news can make parents feel paralyzed, not knowing what to say to their children, but it is important to address their concerns and be a role model for them that it is normal and healthy to have an emotional reaction to a tragedy, she says. Adam Brown, Ph. D. in psychology and clinical assistant professor of psychiatry for children and adolescents at New York University Langone Medical Center (NYU).

If you're having trouble finding the right words, this is the way to start:

Don't assume that your child is blissfully oblivious to what is happening. "Many parents limit access to the news, but just because television is not turned on does not mean that they will not find out what is happening from other people," says Brown. If you are not sure how much your child knows, comment: “A scary thing happened at a Florida school today. Have you heard anything about that? Do you have any question?". It's always better for your children to listen to the news from their mouths, rather than on the bus or in the schoolyard, where they may be getting totally wrong information, Brown adds.

Reassure your child, but don't promise that a tragedy will never happen in your area. The first thing is to let your child know that he or she is safe. You may say, “This happened in another state (or city) and not at your school. They caught the wrongdoer so you're not in danger, "advises Brown, who points out that this is very different from saying," No, this will never happen in our town. " What you can do is refer to the different ways that you, your child's teacher, and the police are working to maintain safety. If your child still feels anxious or powerless, help him channel those emotions in a positive way, such as writing a letter to his congressman about gun laws or raising funds for victims of violence.

Follow your child's lead. "Give your child a little information and watch how she reacts," says Brown. For some that will be enough, but others will need more. Let them lead the conversation, asking questions until they are satisfied.

Allow your teenager to express anger and fear. Teens will already be dealing with deeper moral and ethical issues, and it's important to create an environment where they can openly express their feelings, Brown muses - while noting that some will be more inclined to discuss these issues with their friends than with their friends. parents. However, you can sit down with your teenager and say, "When things like this happen, I question my basic assumptions about the world and wonder what it will be like for you." Even if you don't have an answer, you can still take the opportunity to have an open and meaningful conversation.

Translated by Carmen Orozco

This article originally appeared on Realsimple.com