Keys To Not Worrying About What Others Think

2024 Author: Steven Freeman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 08:15

By Simran Takhar / The Muse / Motto from de editors of Time

Without a doubt, at some point in our lives we have worried about what others might think of us. We doubt our creativity, our ability to innovate, and needless to say when we speak in public, many of us refrain from doing so because we are afraid that others will think that our ideas are not good.

One of the best-selling writers, Seth Godin, says that more than fear of failure, human beings are very afraid of criticism from a third party. The point here is, how do we stop worrying about what others think of us?

The first step is to know that not only we have this problem, on the contrary, many people around us have felt and feel the same. Many of them have also faced that fear of what they will say and of failure, but still they have achieved great things.

If you want to be part of that group of people who face fear, you have to do the following:

Ask yourself, "What happens if I do nothing?"

Marie Forleo, Marie TV host and entrepreneur, says that when the opportunity arises to do something new or out of our comfort zone, the most useful thing is to think about the worst scenarios. That is, it is better that we think about all the scenarios that could result from doing something. So ask yourself these questions: What's the worst that can happen? Is there a chance that you might lose something important, that you might hit yourself?

Write a list of all the things - both positive and negative - that can result if you decide to do what you think. That will help you know if you would actually lose or win by facing that fear.

Your work does not define you

Rohan Gunatillake, head of Mindfulness Everywhere, the company behind the popular buddhify app, says we have a bad habit of letting our work define us, so a lack of success at work makes us feel bad about ourselves.

According to him, it is important to disconnect the self and work. Ideally, you should think and say aloud things like: "My work does not define me," "I am not my biography on Twitter," "I am not my resume." Those statements will make you completely disassociate yourself from your professional circle and you will see yourself as an independent entity with other qualities that go beyond your professional responsibilities.

3. Don't let others get you down

The important thing is not to judge yourself and just as you don't judge yourself, you don't have to let others judge you.

Writer Brené Brown says that "ignoring what people think is itself a hustle."

It's easy for people to criticize you when they're not on the same game board as you, so you don't have to think about what others think if they're not in your shoes. If someone judges you by some action, desire, decision or comment, talk to yourself "I see you, I hear you, but I will do this anyway."

The reality is that you do not have to pretend that people who do not agree with you do not exist, on the contrary, you just have to take away their power and continue with your plans.

Accept others to pass judgment on you

Godin says there are two options in life: to be criticized or to be ignored. And you have the opportunity to choose, that you do have to see how being criticized affects you.

Do the exercise to ask yourself: If I am criticized for this, will I suffer any major impact? Am I going to lose my job? If the only side effect that you can respond to is the criticism that a third party will make you, then you have to compare the benefits that it will make you be as you are or do certain things for just the negative thoughts that a few may have about you or your decisions.. If your decision is to give you satisfaction, it will make you progress and feel good, it is better to do it, because the criticism of others will only make you feel bad.

It is important to know that criticism can also feed you, instead of seeing it as if you did something wrong, see it as a sign that you can improve in many things and also like you did something remarkable. That way it won't be so scary.