Ximena Duque was a mother for the first time at age 19. Since then he has tried to give his son Cristian Carabia, 15, who returns to school in August, the tools to be a prepared and independent young man. "He and [his sister] Luna are good children," says the 34-year-old Colombian of her two offspring.
Cristian is a teenager, how do you handle the school issue?
My son is in a stage where I have to be more aware of him, he is a man, I only have three years to dedicate myself to him and finish raising him because later he goes to college. What has worked most for me at this stage with my son is communication.
What does he want to do?
He wants to be a professional basketball player and I support him. At this age it is very complicated because they are a little lost and do not really know what they want to do. It is my turn to help you have plan A, B or C.
What is your technique to motivate him to study?
He is very mature and one day he told me that he needed freedom and that he should not be so aware of whether he does his homework, etc. I said okay, you're no longer in kindergarten, but if you don't bring me good grades there will be consequences: you don't have a cell phone, there are no outings with friends.
He has to get by on his own, being a basketball player requires that he have excellent grades. Not average: excellent. If he doesn't have A, bye, they won't take him on the high school basketball team and he knows it, he tries hard.
What is the speech that motivates you the most?
You have to have your priorities clear, first is the study and second the girlfriend. It is so, there is nothing else. [I tell him:] 'You have three years left to decide what you are going to be in life because I am not going to be the mother of a pimp who at 40 is paying you for things.'
You say you have to give it space, but at the same time not neglect it …
Yes, I give him his space, but I am very aware of the grades he gets. I get an email if it has low averages. It is important as a man that you have a little space so that your mom is not involved.
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